i saved your life

ever found yourself in a position . . . that sometimes you have to say the thing someone doesn't want to hear, just to save their life? years ago i was driving with my friend tom and he ran a yellow light, while another car was getting an early jump on the green light perpendicular to us. i screamed "tom! look out!" after speeding to get through the light, tom brought the car to a stop and chewed me out saying that if i wanted to save our lives THE WORST possible idea was to scream at him in the midst of a possible accident. he said it would be much better to gently and calmly say "tom, we're about to get hit by a car." ironically, a year later we were at the exact same intersection running a yellow light when an ambulance we had not heard barreled through the perpendicular red light. again i saw our imminent death, but this time i calmly said "tom, we're about to be hit by an ambulance." and wouldn't you know it, tom actually steered the car magnificently and moved us out of harms way in miraculous fashion (we did a 180 a narrowly missed being broad-sided). and in typical tom fashion, he then turned to me and said "thank you for not yelling," as if we hadn't skipped a beat from our previous conversation the year before. 

i find it marvelous to consider the idea that the way we communicate has as much importance as what we communicate. certainly there are important messages in this life that must urgently be shared in order to preserve, save, and build up life . . . but even in urgency there is an art to delicately presenting what cannot easily be heard. and certainly, yelling is never the best approach to communication, even when you're trying to rescue others. i found it effective to observe simon's approach as he attempted to save a life on live television...