i saw this regina spektor video recently...and was stunned for a moment. mostly, i was surprised at how candidly she tapped into a beautiful truth about human existence...we cannot avoid praying. prayer seems wired into us--especially in the toughest moments of our lives. sure, we may forget to pray and say 'thank you' to God when our lives are swimming along peacefully. but, if someone were to be a fly-on-the-wall of our inner-dialogue, they would certainly hear us praying to God when we are in the midst of difficult seasons.
that's not to say our prayers would be considered pious. no, they'd probably sound more like frustration directed at God, "how could a good God let this happen?" "where are You?" "why are You taking so long?" "God-*@#* it!" "why won't You take away this pain?!" "i need a miracle" "help me, please!!!" and maybe there'd be some superstition that'd creep in like "if You'll just (blank), i promise i'll (blank)"
it's like the scriptures say--deep within us--we all know God exists. sure, we've got doubts....but we've got faith too, and we can't shake the nagging sense that there is more to this life (and the next) then we're seeing. it's what one author calls a 'restless contentment,' because even if we're someone whose got everything we want...there's still a restlessness that won't leave us. inner-discontentment perks up no matter who we are and especially in the cloudy times...the days where we are faced with something we cannot fix by ourselves (or even with the help of other humans). fittingly then, the darkest days are the ones where we discover our faith, where we discover our need for someone bigger than us, where we reach out to God, almost on accident, and realize we're praying to (or screaming at) the One we were once tempted to say did not exist.
"no one laughs at God in a hospital.''
--regina spektor
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