perfect love...like a 15-year old
how old do you think adam and eve were when they took a bite into the forbidden fruit and tainted perfect love forevermore?
a couple months ago i blogged about a rising kiddie-pop icon named justin bieber (see blog here), and told you to be on the lookout for his foreseeable career trajectory. at 15 years old his newest album has already charted all 7 songs on the top 100 billboard chart in the months of December and January. that's 7 songs...at one time. this is a major accomplishment for any artist, much less a 15 year old kid. and when you listen to the songs, you can understand why...they're incredibly cute/sweet songs articulating simple affirmations of love for his muse...whoever she may be. 100 million people have already viewed his youtube videos, and he is fast becoming a global success, already charting in the top 100 in more than 3 countries.
i listened to his newest single "one time" today, and was considering what it is that people so gravitate towards in this little boy. and as i've contemplated it, i can only answer for myself: he is innocent. when i watch him perform the songs that he wrote, i see an honest, sincere, albeit young boy who is expressing the feelings of his heart towards his beloved..."i will love you forever." and you know what? all of us can relate to those feelings--even us adults. sure, kids can grab a hold of these songs quickly because they are laced with unchallenged idealism, and reflect the intensity of feeling 'in love' for the first time. but, surely 100 million people consists of a few million adults, right? so why are adults connecting/buying/absorbing what justin about?
for me, the answer is equally encouraging an troubling.
encouraging because - i like that someone is actually writing about faithful, committed love that will last a lifetime.
troubling because - the person writing about everlasting love is 15 years old and has no idea what goes into such a love.
this is not to slam the young man in any way, but to point out that as a culture we're not maturing beyond 15 year old proclamations of love into a fuller, complete version of love that walks beside us into everyday reality. after all, all adults know that as wonderful as those 'in love' feelings are, they fade quickly and cannot permanently sustain a long-term relationship of any kind. and so it's interesting that as a culture fewer and fewer songs are being written by adults making confessions of fidelity, and it is a 15 year old boy who reminds us of the enduring virtue of single-minded devotion to one woman.
have we adults so abandoned the belief in true love that our wounded skepticism has caused us to connect to those feelings vicariously through a 15 year old boy? and what happens when predictably this once innocent prodigy succumbs to the same cynical numbness that governs our own thoughts? will we continue to consume bieber's music when he is writing from a place of objectifying women as his career 'matures'?
is it possible that shattered idealism and maturity do not need to go hand in hand? is it possible for adults to heal and retain the same innocent wisdom of youth that is now richly rooted in a fuller expression of romantic fidelity and true love?
i think so, and i'm hoping that maybe, just maybe justin will be well guided into such a love. wouldn't it be amazing if every child pop-icon decided not to take the low road as they matured in their career's? wouldn't it be something if they learned to dig into love until it expanded far beyond romantic sentiments and into full grown fastidious love? and if these kiddie-pop icons could carry the torch of mature love, could we all begin to believe again that perfect love is possible?
many rabbi's--teacher's of the Hebrew scriptures--believe adam and eve were 15-years old when their innocent trust in perfect love was shattered by disobedience. do you think maybe those intense 15-year old feelings of 'being in love' were lost in that moment never to be so easily sustained again? or maybe just maybe those feelings adam and eve--and all of us--feel, were meant to point us back to a deeper truth...we long for perfect love. if we do, then we must guard our lives and hearts so that we can grow into fuller, more consistent and truly mature expressions of obedient, committed-to-one-person, true, perfect, pure, strong, patient, faithful love.
i pray this perfect love for you as i pray the same for justin bieber and his mentors.
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2 comments:
I read, reread and read again your post. Many things came to mind, but my initial reaction was Morning Glories. You know the flowers? I am a fan of the Morning Glory, minus their innate nature to become weed like. People tend to dismiss their resilient beauty when they are found choking the life out of the other plants in their garden. And unfortunately, it is that noxious weed like character which entered my mind after reading your post. You see, the vines of a Morning Glory will travel for great lengths, searching for something to wrap themselves around. They will even wrap themselves around one another, pulling on the other plants, actually uprooting another Morning Glory; however, if you firmly root something between the plants, the vines will wrap themselves around that object for support, sparing the other plants, growing together as a strong group into a blooming spectacle of color. In many ways, the Morning Glory reminds me of our stubbornness (and frailties) as humans. If two people choose to rely solely on one another for support, they will uproot one another. We are unable, no, incapable, of completely supporting one another. No matter how much I want to choose to love another, I will never be enough on my own. I will fail miserably without the support provided by God. Christ himself must be the center of any relationship as He provides the support and direction for our growth. But, going back to Adam and Eve, didn’t God design us with an instinctive desire to have a love that is pure, fulfilling, enriching and truly real? It was created in us, as a part of us. I don’t think we lost it when we left the garden and entered our now egocentric reality. I just believe that it got lost in our human frailty. We tainted it, working our own inadequate “magic” to find our way back into its “arms.” Our rich desire to be in love’s embrace is proof that we haven’t lost the pull of such a love. We know it, we desire it; we feel the root of it deep within us. I believe that is where our romantic idealism comes from, but we get in the way (as it seems we always do) by placing godly expectations on our partners rather than reaching to God who will strengthen and support us, guiding us towards the love He made us to know. Personally, I am holding out for the beginning of Jimmy Durante’s song Young At Heart:”Fairy tales do come true, they can happen to you.” All girls are suckers for a good fairy tale. It happens. You just have to read the right Book.
amen
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