i remember hearing the story of a father who yelled at his wife. in turn, she spanked her son who then hit his sister. later that day the sister kicked the dog and the dog bit the cat causing the cat to jump on the coffee where the father was sitting and knock over his coffee. since the cat was his wife's, he yelled at her and...you know how the story goes now.
powerful emotions, like anger, are a humdinger. they get planted and buried in us very early--even before we know how harmful emotional reactiveness can become--and not only do we carry these emotions ourselves but we begin to pass them on to those we love, and the next generation of people is never the wiser. so, the cycle of pain continues unless we chose a different approach to the feelings that can cause so many ills.
i'm not totally sure yet what that different approach is, though clearly it begins with self-awareness of how the inside comes out. just being able to identify "i'm feeling lonely" or "i'm feeling sad" or "i'm feeling angry" can help us to avoid reaching for the wrong solution i.e. food, drugs, outbursts of emotion etc. awareness seems like a good place to start for sure. oh, but beware of self-hatred, self-pity and self-defense because the moment we become aware of our failings there is this immediate desire to shut down, blame others, sulk or become permanently discouraged. the struggle is learning how to be patient with ourselves even as we wade through the muck--especially when it takes longer than we think.
it is worth it though, and rest in the assurance that wrestling with our junk and learning to lay it down will become more and more a habit, and you'll become more and more a gift to those around you, especially to the next generation.
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